Tuesday, 20 October 2009


Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.

They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of this story

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

provided by culinary arts degree site

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Now I know my ABCs…

1. A – Available/Single?
Ans: None

2. B – Best friend?
Ans: I consider my husband my best friend. My childhood friend Bhakti , Heena , Sheetal(frd in need is frd indeed), Shiva and of course my mama

3. C – Cake or Pie?
Ans: Cakes always, with lots of chocolate.

4. D – Drink of choice?
Ans: Any n everything . I am allergic to milk... 

5. E – Essential item you use every day?
Ans: A kiss from hubby in the morning, Laptop, cell phone, wireless broadband, Ipod... and ofcourse Armani code my fav perfume.

6. F – Favourite colour?
Ans: Black always. But my hubby loves me in Red, Bright Pink n blue.

7. G – Gummy Bears Or Worms?
Ans: Neither.

8. H – Hometown?
Ans: Pune... aah! My Pune... You will love every part of Pune.

9. I – Indulgence?
Ans: Diamonds Always... 

10. J – January or July?
Ans: July – my hubby’s bday is in July.

11. K – Kids & their names?
Ans: As of now none.

12. L – Life is incomplete without?
Ans: My parents, Hubby (he is oxygen for me) n all my friends...

13. M – Marriage date?
Ans: 30th June 2006

14. N – Number of siblings?
Ans: None

15. O – Oranges or Apples?
Ans: Oranges

16. P – phobia/Fears?
Ans: Losing someone dear...

17. Q – Quote for today?
Ans: “Make sure to get what you love, or else you will have to love what you get...!”

18. R – Reason to smile?
Ans: My Hubby.

19. S – Season?
Ans: Rains n winters. We got married in rainy season and met in winters so both are special... ;-)

20. T – Tag three four People?
Ans: just three. Those who like it can carry on.. 

21. U – Unknown fact about me?
Ans: That I cry a lot…

22. V – Vegetable you don’t like?
Ans: I don’t hate anything as such... I just love non-veg food...

23. W – Worst habit?
Ans: To love all around me and then feel bad when they don’t reply in the same manner. 

24. X – X-rays you’ve had?
Ans: That used to be a standard for all the visa applications.

25. Y – Your favorite food?
Ans: I can die for Chilli panner and sizzlers, I just love non-veg food, I can do anything n everything for ice-creams and choc’s

26. Z – Zodiac sign?
Ans: Sagittarius

provided by culinary arts degree site

Friday, 22 May 2009

A Boy Or A Girl

I got this fwd mail frm one of my frd who just delivered a baby.. Its really touching..

At first you moved, only a little.
I could always find you, right in the middle.

As time went on, you really started to grow.
It wasn't a whole lot, in fact, it was rather slow.

Before I knew it, you were all over the place.
It kind of felt like, you were running a race.

People would ask me, if, you were a boy or a girl.
I would sit and wonder, if, you would have curls.

There are so many things, I really want to know.
But, you are hidden inside, so the answers don't show.

How much will you weigh? How tall will you be?
What color is your hair? Will you even like me?

I hope and pray, you feel like you belong.
I never want you to feel, like you are alone.

I planned you from the start.
You, my dear child, were made straight from my heart.

There will be no one like you, not any place in the world.
It really doesn't matter, if you are a boy or a girl.

I hope I make you proud, that I am your mother everyday.
Because, you have filled my dreams, in more ways, than words can say.

It won't be long before, I can look you in the eyes.
I can feel the excitement growing, I know I'm going to cry.

Don't worry my angel, those tears will be of joy.
It won't matter to me, if you are a girl or a boy.
provided by culinary arts degree site

Monday, 11 May 2009

Bonjour Paris..!

I am very very happy today.... We had been to French embassy today for our Schengen Visa... It was total surprise... We were expecting a rejection as we did not have letter from employer... but that officer was kind enough to give us Visa.
I am like up above flying some where in the sky. Its been almost two years that we went for holiday.. Thanks to my hubby dear.. He made it possible.. Got our hotel and euro star bookings.. Thanks to Lastminute.com..
We are going on 23rd May .. I wish I could just forward time and land in Paris tom.. Now the most difficult thing.. Packing... As usual I don't have clothes that fit me and my travel plans.. so from tomm shopping time.. :-) Now I have official reason to shop..
Fun time ahead.. Will update about my trip laterzzzzzz ;-)

provided by culinary arts degree site

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Ramayana best explained

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain
the significance of 'Diwali' to his younger brother, this is how he went
about it...
'So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But,
like, his step-mom, or something, was kinda b*tch, and she forced her husband
to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or
something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years
or so.. he decided to get his chick(Sita) and his bro(Laxman) along... you
know...so that they could all chill out together.
But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary sh*t... really man...they had monkeys
and devils and sh*t like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows
and arrows... so it was fine.
But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe
(Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his
bro, Laxman, pissed..... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't
mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.Dude, don't ask
me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...so he was
like..., Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.
Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets
kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or sh*t like that. So,they decided to
hitch a ride back home...and when the people realize that our dude, his bro
and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they
deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those
days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to
smoke and sh*t...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps
also... so it was pretty coooooooooool thing...you know with all those
fireworks n stuff...

Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and
you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the
very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July
stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how,
like, this festival started.'
And the Mother fainted...

provided by culinary arts degree site

Thursday, 30 April 2009

You are my dream my love my life

Like a dream you can't explain love can chase a beating of your heart
Like the sun shining in the rain love can make your whole world fall apart

All I wanted now
I just wanna spend my life with you
Time will show me how
Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Suddenly love is the thing that I can't live without

You are my dream my love my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

God I love somehow...I just wanna spend my life with you
You can show me how

Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Suddenly love is the thing that i can't live without

You are my dream my love my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

What have you done to me?
Is this how it’s meant to be
Can't control this feeling in my heart
I can see better days glowing inside your eyes
And I know you feel it in your heart

All I wanted now
I just wanna spend my life with you
Time will show me how
Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Suddenly loves the thing that I can't live without

You are my dream my love my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

Love is a crazy thing
It’s like when you wanna sing
And the words are deep inside your soul
When somebody comes along together you sing a song
You just let the music take control

And I wanted now; I just wanna spend my life with you
Time will show me how
Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Turned me inside out
Suddenly loves the thing that I can't live without

You are my dream my love my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

provided by culinary arts degree site

So called Indian Marriages

I am really disturbed for last few days. Its about one of my sis-in-law, she is my hubby's cousin. Educated,independent and true professional.She works for a bank at officer level. The only problem in her life is .... She is 30+ and is gods special child. She has some problem with her back.She was trying to struggle with her own life when her mum started to find a suitable match. Many guys came to find faults in her. Last week her mum almost finalized her marriage with a guy who lives in the same city , he was also like my sis in law , she thought that he was the best suited boy for her daughter. Then my father in law told them to check where he works and what's his salary. With just one phone call to that guys office they found out he did not have a job and was kicked out 3 months back. Still her mum insisted may be he has changes his job. Finally some how that thing didn't work out.
Last week she found some guy again in the same city , perfectly normal , he worked @ his uncle's shop with a salary of 6K Rs per month. He is the only son and is not from a very well to do family. My sis-in-law's mum tried to explain her that she is lucky to find a guy perfectly normal ready to marry her .. Poor girl she couldn't even say anything .. Its heart breaking when your own mum talks to you in such manner.
My father-in-law tried to speak to my sis-in-law. She said uncle even if I say something , she will get me married to this guy and as it is I was ready to compromise in one or the other way so why not with this guy.She said this and said but.. I will always blame my mum for doing this to me.
Still her mum went ahead and told the entire world she is ready for marriage. To my shock , her mum got her engaged with that guy day before yesterday. I told my hubby that what if this guy leaves her afterward . That guy told my sis-in-law that with your parents and your help I will open my own shop . That means this guy is marrying her only for money. I still don't understand why do parents force there kids into something which has a wrong start and then cry about it. Any kid or lay man will understand this relationship will not last for a long time.
I still feel bad for that girl who will be facing her so called hubby and in-laws and his relatives. She is really a very sweet and mature girl , I wonder why did she take this decision. May god give her the strength to deal with it.
People say Arranged marriages are better than love marriage. Sorry to say but i feel if this is arranged marriage then its better not to be married.

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