Ramayana best explained

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain
the significance of 'Diwali' to his younger brother, this is how he went
about it...
'So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But,
like, his step-mom, or something, was kinda b*tch, and she forced her husband
to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or
something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years
or so.. he decided to get his chick(Sita) and his bro(Laxman) along... you
know...so that they could all chill out together.
But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary sh*t... really man...they had monkeys
and devils and sh*t like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows
and arrows... so it was fine.
But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe
(Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his
bro, Laxman, pissed..... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't
mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.Dude, don't ask
me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...so he was
like..., Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.
Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets
kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or sh*t like that. So,they decided to
hitch a ride back home...and when the people realize that our dude, his bro
and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they
deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those
days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to
smoke and sh*t...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps
also... so it was pretty coooooooooool thing...you know with all those
fireworks n stuff...

Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and
you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the
very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July
stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how,
like, this festival started.'
And the Mother fainted...