Thursday 30 April 2009

So called Indian Marriages

I am really disturbed for last few days. Its about one of my sis-in-law, she is my hubby's cousin. Educated,independent and true professional.She works for a bank at officer level. The only problem in her life is .... She is 30+ and is gods special child. She has some problem with her back.She was trying to struggle with her own life when her mum started to find a suitable match. Many guys came to find faults in her. Last week her mum almost finalized her marriage with a guy who lives in the same city , he was also like my sis in law , she thought that he was the best suited boy for her daughter. Then my father in law told them to check where he works and what's his salary. With just one phone call to that guys office they found out he did not have a job and was kicked out 3 months back. Still her mum insisted may be he has changes his job. Finally some how that thing didn't work out.
Last week she found some guy again in the same city , perfectly normal , he worked @ his uncle's shop with a salary of 6K Rs per month. He is the only son and is not from a very well to do family. My sis-in-law's mum tried to explain her that she is lucky to find a guy perfectly normal ready to marry her .. Poor girl she couldn't even say anything .. Its heart breaking when your own mum talks to you in such manner.
My father-in-law tried to speak to my sis-in-law. She said uncle even if I say something , she will get me married to this guy and as it is I was ready to compromise in one or the other way so why not with this guy.She said this and said but.. I will always blame my mum for doing this to me.
Still her mum went ahead and told the entire world she is ready for marriage. To my shock , her mum got her engaged with that guy day before yesterday. I told my hubby that what if this guy leaves her afterward . That guy told my sis-in-law that with your parents and your help I will open my own shop . That means this guy is marrying her only for money. I still don't understand why do parents force there kids into something which has a wrong start and then cry about it. Any kid or lay man will understand this relationship will not last for a long time.
I still feel bad for that girl who will be facing her so called hubby and in-laws and his relatives. She is really a very sweet and mature girl , I wonder why did she take this decision. May god give her the strength to deal with it.
People say Arranged marriages are better than love marriage. Sorry to say but i feel if this is arranged marriage then its better not to be married.



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3 comments:

Pooja said...

It happens in many families koolkap..Some parents decide the match and force the girl to get in to that relation...sorry to hear that..

Poonam J said...

I am trying to understand the mothers perspective...and to be honest I fail, in doing so...her daughters future is what worries the woman, but sadly she is ruining her present..mother daughter relationship, is the strongest , yet emotions can make it very fragile. Praying and hoping the best for ur cousin, who does not seem strong willed...a mother cannot wish wrong for her daughter...but can sure make mistakes in judgement....

KoolKap said...

@ Pooja - Its so sad the parents do this .. I really feel bad for the kids who have to face it because of there parents...

@ Poonam J - I argued with my hubby about the same thing.. "how can a mother do something like this" This decision will deff change the relation they share. I wanted to talk to her but my in-laws insisted not to do that. I really feel bad for her...